How To Let Go and Find Forgiveness

How to let go and find forgiveness? Well, forgiveness is not like forgetting. This is not something one can sweep under the rug and still hope to achieve.  It is work…constant work.  I know you’re probably groaning a little at hearing this. It sounds time consuming doesn’t it? Granted, it can be but it doesn’t HAVE to be.  This part is entirely up to you. Here are some of my guidelines to forgiveness, both for yourself and others. Remember, these are only some suggestions. Please feel free to add your own. Oh, I wrote them in no particular order. All are equally important.

First of all, you have to realize that when you choose to engage with forgiveness, you’re making an active choice. It’s a HEALTHY choice; treat it as such.  If we hold on to pent up anger, we’re not accomplishing much.  Well, it could be an interesting show when we explode, but none of us really want to provide such entertainment…knowingly. We always know when that’s about to happen right? Our bodies, spirits, souls are always interconnected, and any choices we make for one, will affect the others.  By holding on to anger (feel free to substitute any unpleasant emotion), our energetic self isn’t healthy.  Our physical body relies largely on our emotional well-being.  In other words, if we neglect our emotional well-being, our physical body is more prone to illness.

Humans are exactly that…human beings.  We are not perfect.  No one can ever be 100% perfect.  We will, and do make mistakes.  Recognize this. But that’s the catch! Mistakes are in the past. The past is a place we yearn for with an intense longing because we can never go back to that time.  Our view of the past will always be from the present.  Just like our view of the future will always be from the present. As such, those projections will always be of what we think the past should’ve been.  We need to make sure we are fully present in our present.  Sure, things might’ve worked out differently if I chose a different option than the one I did. However, if I hadn’t made a mistake, I wouldn’t have learned from it.  I wouldn’t be me.  Besides, Spirit has a habit of making sure we learn lessons, and with my luck, I would’ve learned it in a harsher way if I disregarded it the first time.  I’m stronger today than I ever thought I could be! Thanks Spirit!! See, I do learn 😛  Find it in your heart to forgive, and be forgiven, and you’ll grow. Hmmm that sounds like a fortune cookie. Well, you guys know what I mean.

Give yourself time to heal and feel.  This is absolutely essential.  When you allow yourself to truly feel, a deep healing has the much needed space to take place.  By feeling your grief and pain, you’re acknowledging it and working through it.  Don’t try to rush yourself because this is a process that cannot be rushed.  It’s like the Alanis Morrisette song ” Out is Through“.  On the flip-side, if someone needs some time and space away from you, please allow them this.  That’s something they must work through.

If a particular person or situation enters your mind often, don’t send anger messages to Spirit. Instead send love.  As cliche as it might sound, love can and does the have the potential to heal everything.

Don’t let your brain try to entice you with the seductiveness of revenge tactics.  It’s a no win situation. They do not work. Hold on, let me correct that.  Such tactics work, but have the tendency to work TOO well. The person will probably get the picture, however, it’s quite likely everyone you know will too. Save yourself some heartbreak and pain. Step back. Think about it first. What is rational? What isn’t? How will you feel about it tomorrow? Be calm.

If you’re not ready to forgive, that is fine.  However, live your life to the fullest.  Now, I know this is difficult, but make sure you live with positivity. By doing this, you will not send out negative energy to Spirit.  Like attracts like remember?  Please see my post on the Law of Attraction for a more in depth explanation of this. Remember there is no expiration date for forgiveness. There is no time limit.  So don’t feel rushed.  We are all different people.  So why should we expect to heal and be forgiven in the exact same way as another?

I suggest keeping a journal. Pour all your emotions into this journal.  Write EVERYTHING down. This is an extremely relieving, releasing process to go through, and guess what?  When you’ve gone through this process, you can look back through the journey and see a record of how far you’ve actually come!

Find something to be grateful for daily, even if it is as simple as having a working laundry machine, or the knowledge that the sun will rise on a whole new day tomorrow.

Remember:

It is 100% acceptable (and normal) to cry, to feel, to love, to be brutally honest with oneself and others, to smile, to laugh, and to grieve.  

Warmly,
~Caren
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